Tea Party of Madness
by Dario Soto
Summary: While Alice was repairing the damage done by The Dollmaker and was trying to restore her Wonderland, she gets an unexpected guest who has more madness than her...and an obsession with tea and cheese.


**So I had this idea for a very long time and I am surprised that no one had thought of this. Ever since I played Skyrim and met Sheogorath and saw the gameplay/cutscenes of Alice: Madness Returns, I though it would be a great idea if the two met. At first, I didn't want to do this since, back thing, people might want to do this, but nowadays, not one crossover of these two, so I figure, I might as well be the first one, and maybe inspire someone to write a full fanfic of this. But for this, it will only be a one-shot. But if it gets popular, I might make it into a series of one-shots. But for now, only this one. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little one-shot.**

Tea Party of Madness

Here she was, after dealing with her former psychiatrist Dr. Bumby, who in her version in Wonderland is known as the Dollmaker, Alice returned to Wonderland where she is to remain for the rest of her life. Now with the doctor dead, the children will be free from him and will be able to live their lives without becoming empty shells for other people's amusement. At least, for that, Alice knew the children are safe. And also, for the most part, avenged the death of her family.

Alice spent a good number of years in Wonderland, not knowing how long it has been since she escaped to Wonderland or what has been going on in the real world. But she can rest easy now that Wonderland is under her control…for the most part. There are some parts of Wonderland that have been damaged by the Dollmaker, but Alice worked hard to fix the damages and restored Wonderland to what it was.

As Alice was wondering through Wonderland, she arrived at the former Queen of Hearts castle, to which it was now her new permanent home, she headed to her room and just rested on her bed. Before she slowly closed her eyes, the Cheshire Cat appeared before her.

"Busy day today?" Cheshire Cat asked.

Alice groaned in frustration and replied "Don't bother asking, you bloody cat."

The Cheshire Cat chuckled and said "You knew what you will face when coming to Wonderland, don't be such a shrewd."

Alice gave the cat a death glare and said "I am trying my best around here. But it is always the same thing. Either I clean up the damage that were done or taming the things that are trying to kill me!"

She slumped back to her bed and said "Sometimes, I wonder why I am even here or why I try."

"Oh Alice," Cheshire Cat said, "What you need is to…"

All of a sudden, every hair on Cheshire Cat's body stood out as he gazed around the room. When Alice saw him, she could have sworn she saw fear in his eyes. She sat up on her bed and asked "Cheshire, what is the matter?"

Cheshire Cat replied "There is a presence here, something…far darker than anything I have ever felt."

Hearing what he said, Alice quickly got up, took out her blade, The Vorpal Blade, and made her way through the castle to find whatever was disturbing the Cheshire Cat. After searching the castle, she found nothing. Deciding to give up, when Alice was about to head back to her room, she heard the dining room making a lot noise.

Thinking who it was, Alice gritted her teeth, marched to the dining room and yelled "Mad Hatter! I swear, if you, the Hare and the Doormouse are in there having another tea party, I swear I will…"

The moment she entered the dining room, she was in shocked at what she saw. There was a large table that was in the middle of the room that was filled with cheese, other food and a tea set on it. But instead of the Mad Hatter, there was a man who had had white chin-length hair, pale eyes and a light beard. There was a cane lying against the side of the throne. His outfit was…strange. The right half of his long-sleeved jacket was in a light shade of purple and the other half was red. Underneath it was a little-pink cravat. His trousers were dark purple, but it had light purple-colored swirls. He also had black boots and a thin belt.

For as long as Alice had been in Wonderland, she has neither seen nor even created the man before her. He doesn't even resemble anyone she had met in the real world. Deciding to speak to this strange man, Alice marched to him and asked "Excuse me, who in the world are…"

Suddenly, the man stood up and shouted "How rude! Can I not be interrupted while I am having a nice cup of tea!"

A bit irritated, Alice said "Interrupting?! This is my home! You, whoever you are, broke in and decided to have a tea party! It is bad enough the Mad Hatter does it!"

"The Mad Hatter?!" the man shouted before thinking, "That sounds like a good nickname. I'm writing that down!"

As he took out a notebook and begins writing the name down, Alice gritted her teeth as she said "Now listen here! I don't know who you are, but…"

But the man laughed and said "Ho Ho! But you do know who I am, little Alice."

As Alice stood there a bit surprised that this man knew her name, the man replied "I am the fragment of you imagination, the one that always lingers in the back of you mind. You know me, just don't know it."

The man the stood up, gently bowed and said "Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness and Insanity, at your service."

Hearing his title, Alice raised an eyebrow and asked "Prince of Madness and Insanity? Are you bloody serious?"

Sheogorath laughed and said "Of course I am! Why? You don't believe me?"

Alice crossed her arms and said "Not one bit."

Sheogorath grinned as he grabbed his staff and said "Then I will make you believe."

"Oh?" Alice asked, "And how do you plan to…"

All of a sudden, Sheogorath slammed his staff onto the ground as the ground started to engulf in purple flames. Just then, the whole room started to change as it was suddenly outdoors as Alice realized it was the gardens of the castle.

A bit shocked, she looked at Sheogorath and asked "What the bloody hell just happened?"

"Now, Now, Now," Sheogorath said as he sat down, "You are too stiff, please, have a seat."

A chair then started to act on it's own, slide behind Alice and the chair knocked her onto it as it slide to the edge of the table. Seeing herself trapped, Alice tried to escape from the chair but she has failed. Sighing in frustration, Alice eventually gave up as a tea cup appeared before her and a floating tea pot appeared and poured her a cup. When the tea pot stopped pouring, Alice sniffed the tea and it smelled wonderful. However, she eyed the Mad God as he was already drinking a cup of his own and eating different variety of cheeses.

Still suspicious of him, Alice asked "Alright, tell me, why are you here? I have never heard of you nor created you. So why appear now?"

Sheogorath laughed and replied "I love it when mortals aren't as gullible or naïve as you! But to answer your question, you peaked my interest, young Alice."

As Alice raised an eyebrow, Sheogorath spread his arms and said "You alone managed to create this entire world by yourself without any help from any god or anything! All of this created from your imagination! And of course, what also caught my attention, was the madness this world had produced! It's so…excellent!"

Alice pouted and said "I am trying my best to restore my world! But no matter…"

"Shhhhh," Sheogorath silenced her, "Hush child. You see, this world represents you, you work too hard to try to make things better instead of leaving things as they should be. Sure, you cleaned up after what's-his-face ruined it, but you already done your part. What you are doing now is just time wasting."

As he drank more of his tea, Alice thought about it and said "So…what you are saying, is that I SHOULDN'T try to intervene to make it better and that I should let it run it's course? That doesn't sound like a great advice."

Sheogorath laughed and said "Oh no, it is not. But it will help you lessen your burdens when ruling your world. Because you cannot control madness, for it is the mind's true freedom."

While Sheogorath sips his tea more, he said "Well go on, mortal! You'll get your tea cold!"

Alice eventually gave in as she held her teacup to her lips as she carefully sipped her tea. The moment she tasted her tea, Alice quickly enjoyed the sweet taste from it and soon slowly finished hers.

"Mmm," Alice said, "That was delicious."

"It better!" Sheogorath said, "Made it meself!"

"Oh?" Alice said as she poured herself another cup of tea and sipped it, "What is it made from?"

Sheogorath simply replied "Goat intestines."

The moment he said that, Alice quickly spat out her tea and gave him a disgusted look, to which Sheogorath laughed out loud and said "Kidding! Hahahaha! The look on your face! Oh boy! Nah, it's normal warm tea. Very refreshing!"

Alice merely rolled her eyes as she continued to enjoy her tea. After almost an hour of talking about the realms they rule, Sheogorath stood up, stretched his arms and said "Whelp, back to the Shivering Isles."

Alice looked at him and said "I guess you'll be going then."

"Of course," Sheogorath said before looking at her, "Unless we have another cup of tea sometime in the future. I really enjoy this Wonderland, but you will enjoy the Shivering Isles more. I'll even introduce you to Stanley the Grapefruit! He is a jokester!"

While Alice rolled her eyes, Sheogorath said "Remember what I said, young Alice. You cannot fix this world, it is already perfect the way it is. Because madness is the mind's true freedom."

And with that, Sheogorath disappeared in a ball of purple fire, leaving Alice alone sitting in the garden. While Alice remained sitting there staring at the teacup, the Cheshire Cat appeared and said "Well…that was unexpected. Now that he is gone, now you can rest before you can continue restoring Wonderland."

When Cheshire Cat said that, Alice remembered the words Sheogorath told her and began to think if what she was doing was the right thing to do? Does she really want to fix Wonderland to suit her needs? No matter how hard she tried, everything eventually returns to what it what once. It was an endless cycle of work and time consumption, Alice thought…maybe the mad god was right. What if her Wonderland was meant to be ruled the way it was instead of making things her way? Her whole life, she would always try to better herself, have things go her way and try to make things better. But…what if her Wonderland perfect the way it was and there was nothing for her to do other than let it grow on it's own.

That was when Alice decided.

She stood up and firmly said "No."

Curious, Cheshire Cat asked "No? No what?"

Alice replied as she headed to the throne room "I have been trying hard to make Wonderland better, to make everyone not go crazy and to make everything make sense. But that mad man was right about one thing, Wonderland is based on my mind, and it should be free to do whatever it wants."

Reaching her throne room, she sat on her throne, gave off a wicked grin and said "It is just like he said, madness is the mind's true freedom."

**Hope you all enjoyed this one-shot. Don't know if I should do more one-shots, but if I have more ideas for this one-shot. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed it and I will try to update my other stories. Until then, please review!**


End file.
